life.is.my.stage.

As a musician, I think it’s important to have role models, someone that embodies all that you want to achieve as a musician.  This isn’t just for rockstars, but anyone who’s ever taken up an instrument, whether it’s a guitar or a tuba, and anything in between.  You have to have goals, and what better goal is there than to be able to perform like someone you really admire?  Many of us may never get to that level, but it’s something worth striving for.  It’s better to aspire to be something than to give up and amount to nothing.  In my case, there are a couple of musicians that are the epitome of what I want to be in a musician.



Drums were my first love, and it makes sense that Travis Barker is someone I look up to in the percussive arts.  From my perspective, he’s always been an amazing drummer, but I think others may recognize him more as a pop culture personality (due to TV, hip-hop side projects and his infamous plane crash).  While Travis exhibits a lot of personality both in the entertainment industry and the internet (especially Twitter), it’s his stone-faced stoicism and perceived ease behind a drumset that really astonishes.  Nothing seems difficult to him when he’s got a stick in each hand, and his ridiculous precision adds to the prestige.  I’ve witnessed Travis Barker live with +44, Boxcar Racer, and Blink-182 seven times over the last 12 years, as well as countless hours of Youtube videos and televised footage.

So why do I idolize him?  First and foremost, he’s broken barriers to avoid being typecasted as a “punk drummer”.  He has roots in jazz, hip-hop and marching percussion.  He doesn’t play the same beat song after song.  As a drummer, I can respect how difficult it can be to think outside the 4/4 rhythm box and do all that you can to make a drum part interesting to listen to.  Travis crams all the beats he can into what little space he’s given.  His arms are a blur and he punishes his drums with over-exaggerated strikes.  He’s as fun to watch as he is to listen to, and his limits seem non-existent.  With every new album he’s a part of, I become amazed at the rhythms he creates in place of what could have been a standard, lazy drum beat.  Travis Barker has helped to elevate the role of drummers in modern rock music.  No longer are we the obscured, metronomic robots in the background.  Now drummers can frost the musical cake just as impressively as a talented guitarist or vocalist.



Like Dave Grohl, the drums are my roots, my humble beginnings.  But also like Dave Grohl, it wasn’t long before I wanted to spread my wings and learn more and more about rock music.  Dave went from iconic drummer of Nirvana to iconic frontman of Foo Fighters.  He’s a hard worker and an accomplished rocker, being prominently involved in the rock scene over the course of two decades without pause.  Even his work in Queens of the Stoneage deserves to be more than just a footnote.  He embodies rock music and does it with bravado and grace.  Dave Grohl has kicked people out of concerts for being too disruptive to other fans.  He’s all but condemned modern alternative bands for relying too heavily on computers, autotuning and effects.  He’s all about the raw sound of rock and roll, and he’s 100% correct as far as I’m concerned.

So why do I idolize him?  On top of everything that Dave Grohl has accomplished or been involved in, he’s a stand up guy.  Not only is his music catchy, but you catch a positively friendly vibe from him whether your watching an interview or standing before him in the crowd.  He likes to tell you stories and just feels like he’d be up for a backyard barbecue with you any time.  Charisma aside, he’s an incredible musician.  As if his prowess on the drumset and guitar wasn’t enough, he has an incredible and durable voice.  I witnessed the Foo Fighters play a 2½ hour show without a break.  Dave will be the first to tell you “Oh great, another song where I have to scream”, but all joking aside, he can do it well and with unwavering power.  What I couldn’t give to just have a beer and chat with Dave Grohl…

April was a big month with three major events that will all lead to a better album.  First of all, the rock grotto is done.  I know I mentioned this last month, but those little “finishing touches” that I talked about were finally completed.  Here’s a short video on the process of the project:



Secondly, the majority of the lyrical work is done.  The only things I’m waiting to finish are a couple of songs that I want to do as a collaboration, but the meat of the project is very close to the final draft.  It’s angsty at times, but I’m okay with that.  These are things I think and feel, and I’d rather sing about something real than cough up bullshit.

Lastly, after years of hesitation, I finally pulled the trigger on a new hollow-body electric guitar, an Ibanez AGR70.  It’s a good mid-range guitar (price-wise), and it’s capabilities are in sync with my intentions.  It has a good clean sound that’s easy to add some “twang” to for a bright, acoustic guitar timbre.  It also has a solid distorted tone to it, though the feedback can be a little tricky with high volume.  On top of all of that, it’s pretty sexy to look at too!



So that’s April’s update.  For the next month, I’ll be trying to finalize the drum tracks and possibly start recording some bass lines.  I’ve already been playing along with the rough recordings I have, trying to add some complexity to the bass lines in an effort to expand over my last album.  I’ve even been trying to learn “Hysteria” by Muse just to get some bass practice.  I’ll let you know how it goes next month, maybe even post some audio progress if I make any.  Until then, rock on!

I know I’m about a week late on giving an update for March, but it’s been a busy week!  First off, my basement / man cave / rock grotto finally got carpeted.  It’s just about as complete as could be without doing some final touch-ups here and there (video forthcoming).  I’m really proud of it since I designed and built most of it myself, and it’s a relief to finally have a room that feels new and finished where I can play music.

As for the album, it remains nameless.  However, I’ve finalized the track listing and most of the musical writing work.  I have 13 songs that I feel good about putting on the album.  They all feel different and it makes me hopeful that someone listening to the album front to back won’t find too many similarities between songs.  I was up to 14 songs at one point, but I sacrified a song that was coming off as too angry.  Since last month, new songs have emerged to take the places of previous, weaker songs.  There are a couple songs in particular that I feel are really strong.  I’m trying to make an impression here!

My goal for the next month is to finish all of the lyrical work.  There are a couple songs that still need to be refined, and some that are missing whole verses completely.  I also thought about doing videos of just random parts of the process, but I don’t want to seem like I’m stroking my own ego.  I want to connect with more people, but I’m not sure how to do it without coming off as self-centered.  All I want is to make music and spread it around, but good intentions can easily get lost on the internet.

Let me know if you have any suggestions.  How can I reach more people?  Youtube is a big untapped resource, but my aforementioned concerns make me doubtful.  I’ve also thought about a website, but I don’t even have enough fans on facebook (facebook.com/theryangilkay) to justify spending money to host a site.  Any thoughts tumblr people?  Peace!

(MINOR SPOILERS)

It seems that there’s a lot of animosity regarding the ending to Mass Effect 3, and by association, the series.  I understand it, and I’m not immune to it.  I also felt frustration at the end of the game.  The ending wasn’t how I pictured the summation of 100+ hours of gameplay and a plethora of decisions that were supposed to affect the outcome of the game.  When so much of the series revolved around free will and shaping the galaxy around my actions, the ending left me feeling handcuffed and futile.  The promises of my hard work delivering a unique and enjoyable experience were suddenly dashed, and in the end I was presented with the illusion of choice in a decision that invalidated all previous decisions.  I felt like a child who was promised ice cream after his chores, only to be given veal.

Like many other things, there are those that will tell you “it’s about the journey, not the destination”.  I agree with that, but in the case of Mass Effect, the journey and the destination carry equal weight.  This isn’t a fan-made stigma.  This was a promise from the publisher of the game itself.  We were built up to believe that there was a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, not a pile of dog shit.  That being said, I will say this: The journey was beautiful.  From the very beginning of Mass Effect 1, all the way up to the final 10 minutes of Mass Effect 3, it was one of the most engrossing and beautiful franchises in gaming I have ever experienced.  It’s because of those feelings toward the series that I (and presumably many others) held such disappointment with how it ended.

Every conversation branch, every piece of equipment, every choice mattered to me.  I wasn’t playing a pre-ordained avatar with a fixed path from point A to B.  I was playing a reflection of myself, satisfying my needs to learn everything about this galaxy and its citizens.  I was Commander Shepard, having conversations the way I think I would.  I was forming relationships with alien babes based on my attraction to their personalities.  It was as real as a video game in outer space could be.  I enjoyed the setting of this series so much that I actually read the Mass Effect books.  I truly loved the journey, and look forward to starting at square one and doing it all over again, except maybe just rewriting the ending for myself.

In this thunderstorm, there is some silver lining.  Maybe I’m being naïve, or just blindly hoping for a change, but with the amount of public outcry and some comments from Bioware, there’s a glimmer of hope that the ending to Mass Effect 3 isn’t the “true” ending.  Some people have come up with what they call “the indoctrination theory”.  If you’ve finished the game, go Google it.  I won’t give away any details here for fear of spoiling it for anyone.  What I will say is that the indoctrination theory would allow for an alternate ending, a better ending, one without so many plot holes.  Is it ridiculous to hope for such a thing?  In my opinion, I don’t think it is.  Think about this…

If you’ve played the series, you’ll know all of the major themes involved.  Free will.  Exploration.  Co-existence between synthetic and organic life forms.  Overcoming racism, bigotry and homophobia.  Making insightful and impactful choices that would change details about the game later on.  Think about all of those themes.  Think about how intricately crafted all of the conversation trees were with each character.  People could literally live or die based off of your interactions with them.  Now, with all of that considered, consider this:  Do you really think that Bioware would abandon EVERYTHING that I mentioned just to give us a vague “one-size-fits-all” sort of ending?  This series has had tremendous depth from the get-go, so why not now?  Why are we spoon-fed an ending that they knew would be unsatisfactory?  It’s because of this that I hold hopes that we’ll see a different ending via DLC, which brings up a couple other points.

The first point is this: If Bioware conned us into believing that this was the real ending, but planned to have a different ending (in essence “indoctrinating” all of us), then bravo!  It worked, and then this way they can tailor an ending to fit the expectations of the majority of fans.  Whether that’s good or bad (or true) remains to be seen.  It would take game publishing to a new level, provoking real outrage in order to finish a story.  My second point is this: If Bioware plans on charging people for the “real” ending to the story via DLC, then there should be a cozy part of Hell reserved for them.  I’m not opposed to a company releasing an unfinished game with plans to perpetuate or adapt the story later.  But I am opposed to paying for an unfinished game.  What a ploy that would be though, and it’s not beyond the scope of the evil empire that is EA.  They’ve mastered the art of pissing on consumers and then convincing us that it’s just rain, while making us pay for it.

So, those are my thoughts on the matter.  We can hope for a better ending, otherwise it seems like there are plenty of people willing to boycott Bioware and EA in the future.  I don’t blame any of them, and I’d be inclined to join the boycott too.  The time and money put into this franchise needs to be acknowledged, not in some shitty public statement to explain away all of the plot holes, but in finishing what was started the way it was meant to be finished.  If it doesn’t happen, it’s a clear sign that publishers don’t respect their audience.  Are we just dollars and cents to you, or are we the ones that control the fate of your company when we decide to stop wasting our time and money on your crap products?  Do the right thing Bioware, or we will do the Harbinger thing and assume direct control.